The masks people wear

Like seriously, how many times does it happen that you feel you know someone.... like  really know someone..... till the time you realize that you know shit!

You think you know them, but as days progress, their behavior only affects you negatively. And then the over thinking starts

It begins with tracing everything that you said or did in the recent past to find out what must have triggered the "other" side of that person. After a lot of useless analysis and self doubt, you give up. When that fails, our mind starts giving justifications for everything (wrong/ lies/ reasons) the person is doing. Then the justifications become so absurd that they start challenging logic. Till finally logic triumphs....

The whole process though is really really pain in the well.... yeah

I have a couple of theories as to why

Firstly, it is very very difficult to accept that you made a bad judgment call. Especially when you are particularly proud of your ability to be able to "look through people". And in addition you have strong walls around you, which do a very good job of keeping out the undesirables. So when you realize someone took you for a ride, lied to your face or took advantage of your vulnerabilities.... the instant reaction is denial.

Secondly, for some people (read like me), the moments of instantly connecting with someone are extremely rare. The wonderful feeling of being absolutely comfortable with someone does not come easily. We may know people for years, but yet the "connection" happens only a couple of times. Someone so easily becoming a beautiful part of our lives. And when this happens, we don't want to let go of that person. You just want to defend something that's so precious.

But in both cases, you have to let go, because holding on never ever helps. The person may/may not have negative intentions, but if something is affecting you negatively, its better to move on. And forgive yourself for trusting the wrong person. Be ok with showing your stupid vulnerable side to someone. Don't  waste energy blaming the person, don't waste energy asking for explanations, nobody owes you anything .... Instead learn from the mistakes and be a better person. Wish the very best for them, because for a brief period, they were special, and probably will remain special forever

Its ok to lose a friend. But its not ok to lose your mind and more importantly your self respect :)

So for the new year.... the reinforcements are in place..... and the walls are stronger and higher than ever....