To be or Not to be.....

"Sur mhanto saath de. Diva mhanto vaat de. Unhamadhlya mhataryala fakta tuza haath de"

I will not sleep peacefully today. Probably all my dreams today and for a few more nights would be a collage of vivid characters -  an old weary man serving tea in a small shack, two best friends cussing at each other, a grandpa playing with his innocent grandchild, the final moments of a wife leaving her husband for ever, the end of an era......

Natsamrat.... a play about which I have been hearing from the time I was a kid. Had a faint idea of it being the story of an old actor who for some reason loses his home, because all I was sure of was that he kept asking "Koni ghar deta ka ghar". To add to my dismal knowledge, there was a lesson on it during my college days. And my university made it clear that by putting it as an out of context, incomplete and rather sad lesson, they had killed whatever curiosity I had to read the whole play. All I concentrated on was to atleast remember the full name of the protagonist "Ganpat Ramchandra Belwalkar" and how he felt when his wife died. The answer for this question was provided in the all famous "guide". After passing my exams, I happily bid adieu to Natsamrat. 

Until today when he crept in my life once again, and how.....

Today I know why he kept asking for a home. I know how he felt when his wife died. And I feel miserable for feeling his pain so closely

Within the first 15 minutes of the movie, I realized that I would have to use my defence mechanism if I had to survive the movie - Rationalization

I tried to rationalize everything - he should not have taught cuss words to his grand daughter, nor the dance. He should have tried to understand his daughter in law's point of view

He should not have got drunk at his daughter's anniversary, he could have handled himself better

HE SHOULD HAVE COMPROMISED.... HE SHOULD HAVE CHANGED HIS BEHAVIOUR.... HE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS OWN MISERY

Then suddenly he said a word.... one word and my defence mechanism was biting the dust.... "Toofan".... "Kuni ghar deta ka? Ghar? Eka toofanala kuni ghar deta ka? Ek toofan bhinti vaachun, chhapra vaachun, manasachya maye vachun, devacha daye vachun, dongra-dongrat hindta aahe. Jithun kuni uthavnar naahin ashi jaga dhoondta aahe. Kuni ghar deta ka re? Ghar?"

And it struck me....... he was a storm, not to be contained......and he did not give in to people around him. He stayed true to his character.. till the very end. Yes, he had to pay a price for it, but he was what he was. Would he have been better off had he mellowed down to please people around him? Maybe he would have had a roof on his head. But other than that, he would have been even more miserable than what he was when he had to stay on the pavement. And why should he had given in. He was a self made man. Starting as a chai wala but reaching the pinnacle of being a Natsamrat.... He deserved to be the storm he was

Dont we all want to be like that? To be free to remain just the way we are.....

I admire Ganpat for staying so true to himself. And I admire Kaveri for showing me what it means to be the air under someone's wings

I am going for the book now..... looking forward to reading the full version

Till then all my dreams will be decorated by Natsamrat and his Sarkar